Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Embarrassing shit that my kid has said loudly on public transit to the amusement of our fellow passengers

  • (while pointing) "Is that a man or a lady, mom?"
  • (again with the pointing) "Funny hair! Funnnnnneeeeeeee haaaaaaair!"
  • "That man smells like granny."
  • "How does a baby get in a mommy's tummy?" (I actually answered this question right there. There was a bunch of drunk college kids eavesdropping and I figured they might find some of the information useful in a couple of hours)
  • "Mom, if you have a baby, then you will have two kids with two different dads. And if you have another baby then you will have three kids with three..." (Me: "that's enough now.")
  • "Mom, you should shave your legs soon. They look gross."
  • (To an elderly woman who smiled at him) "Stop looking at me! Stop looking at me! STOOOOOOOOOOP IT!"
  • "My mom is 35! How old is your mom?"
  • "I want a little brother, but if you won't give me one, then I want a dog."

9 comments:

Twisted Chick said...

Sitting at a packed local resturaunt my then three year old daughter blurts, quite loudly, "Mama look! That man is soooo fat!!!" Pointing at a very large, lonely looking man at the next table. Yes, everyone stared and I got several dirty looks.

Broom said...

God, I love kids. They crack me up. That is, when they're not commenting on my hairy legs, fat ass, funnnnneeeee hair, or prospective multiple baby daddies.

I love reading your stuff, Katie. I'm an idiot for avoiding it because it makes me feel less than. Because it doesn't make me feel less than. It makes me feel "thank god somebody else out there gets it."

Because you do.

katie's brain said...

Dayum, thanks Broom! The feeling is mutual. Your blog is awesome.

Bobby said...

I usually just grin or chuckle when reading funny stuff, but this made me laugh out loud!!

Thanks!

Special K said...

Ahahaha! I think my favourite has to be the one about the man smelling like grandma.

ioweyoulunch said...

jesus kate, don't hate on the college kids. They could be future love interests...

katie's brain said...

LOL--you're hilarious D.

Carly said...

my kid sang a sentence to me tonight, that was set to the tune of "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me".... you think I'm a bad mother maybe? she's not even 11 yet.

sigh...

katie's brain said...

LOL--that's hilarious Carly--the things they pick up at school! ;-)